Elizabeth Drew, one of the senior "serious" commentators in corporate media, who began her career as a talking head in the early 1970s, has written an op-ed published in this morning's New York Times. It is called "The Inevitability of Impeachment." I then imagined the following group conversation:
"Serious" Commentators for the Past Nearly Two Years: Impeachment will never happen. It is naive to think so. Don't even think about it, let alone talk about it.
Cut to Summer 2019. Mueller report has been released. Impeachment articles are drawn up in the House. A vote is taken. A majority agree to begin impeachment hearings.
"Serious" Commentators on Cable Television: Nobody could have predicted this. Nobody saw this coming. But when we think about it, it was always inevitable. Let's have Elizabeth Drew on now, to explain how she saw it just before the year began. She was the oracle, the sage on this. Nobody before her saw this as a possibility. This is all just like nobody knew Saddam Hussein did not have weapons of mass destruction. This is just like nobody saw Hillary Clinton was not popular in the Mid-West and could lose the election to Trump. Just one shock after another.
Me: But, but, but, I said all of that before those things happened. I said Saddam did not have the weapons of mass destruction. I was worried Hillary Clinton would lose to Trump. I said we should talk impeachment and we should see how this drip, drip, drip of information would go, considering how Trump had been tied up with Russian oligarchs since the 1990s.
"Serious" Commentators on Cable Television: Who are you? You are nobody. You didn't go to an Ivy League college. You are not famous like we are. We know better. We are on the inside. We see these political leaders every day. We are the realists--
Me: C. Wright Mills called people like you "crackpot realists."
"Serious" Commentators on Cable Television: See? You are not serious. And you're a radical, too. Nobody listens to radicals. You hardly watch us, so what do you know? Did you even hear what Trump tweeted today? Did you hear what some celebrity said about Trump's tweet? And anyway, Bernie's too old. Nancy Pelosi, who is more than a year older than Bernie, is not too old. And that Joe Biden, oh, we like him, though he is only a year younger than Bernie. And that Beto, too. Maybe Biden and Beto will run together.
Me: I like Beto a lot, but I am concerned he may be less than meets the eye. Beto lost to a guy nobody likes, albeit this was Texas politics. Beto's wife is a real estate heiress, whose family has engaged in the type of business activity which early on defined Trump, which you guys barely discuss in your latest discussions about Beto. Just what is up with that? And his record in Congress was somewhat sketchy for a guy who won't call himself "progressive" when people who watch you "serious" folks think he is a progressive. I worry because I wonder why you "serious" people on television are hyping him? It reminds me of the hype surrounding Obama in 2005 and 2006, when Ken Silverstein warned us about Obama in 2006 in his article, "Barack Obama, Inc." in Harpers' Magazine. During the 2008 primaries, I used to call Hillary and Obama "HillObama," as I never understood why those who were partisans of Obama and Hillary hated each other so much...Remember the PUMAs?
"Serious" Commentators on Cable News: What the heck are you talking about? See? You are not only not serious, you are just so negative. You never see us saying anything negative. Bernie's too old, don't you get that? And he's a radical! You are just a naive purist who will cause Trump to win again!
Otherwise Non-Racist, Sane People Who Watch Cable News: See, Mitchell? They are serious. You are not. You are naive. And yes, you are most certainly a radical! We only believe people who are serious...and who the people on television tell us are "moderate." Yes, we agree with a lot of what Bernie says, and we know the majority of Americans agree with Sanders' positions, but you heard them say it on television: Bernie's a radical! A far leftist! Nobody who is serious likes him!
Me: Kids? Save us. Save yourselves. Save the planet. Please vote in 2020 even more than you did this time. We have reached a Pogo moment.
Kids: Who or what is a "Pogo?" Oh. Just looked it up on Wiki. Yeah, wow. That's cool. Looks like when the guy who wrote Pogo did that comic strip about "We have met the enemy and he is us," he was talking about the environment, too. Wow. But hey, don't worry, old man. There are more of us going to vote in 2020. And with any luck, more of your generation and your parents' generation will be dead or too enfeebled to vote in 2020. And hey, cheer up, maybe there will be a Season 4 for "Rick and Morty!"
People Who Watch Cable News (Racist, Non-Racist, Insane, Sane): Who or what is a "Rick and Morty?"
Kids and Me: Don't worry. It's a show. But you wouldn't understand it even if you watched it. This single episode tells us about the way racism works in a society, how racism is internalized where minority cops may sometimes be as bad as white racist cops, our society's anomie, our society's corruption--
Me: --and it takes The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" into realms of sublime irony. And multi-verses.
Me: --and it takes The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" into realms of sublime irony. And multi-verses.
Kids: And the end of the episode has Blonde Redhead's "For the Damaged Coda." Awesome.
Me: Wow. I had no idea. Cool. I loved that!
Otherwise Non-Racist, Sane People Who Watch Cable News: These kids. And you, too, Mitchell. You are not serious! You watch stupid cartoons on television, but you don't watch cable news like we do. You don't keep up with what's going on. Wait. Another Trump Tweet! Oh my God---
Kids and Me: (Face palm)
Dissolve as the Cable News Watchers go back to watching cable news--again.
Dissolve as the Cable News Watchers go back to watching cable news--again.
